So not the Dog Whisperer

Although I did do some whispering to try and calm Murphy down. Didn't do me a squat of good, but atleast he didn't pee on me. Just bit my hand off.

(BFF S: I'm fine. The hand is fine, the dog is fine, we're still cool, just some residual loss of feeling in my legs. Oh, wait, that was from my run. Never mind the loss of feeling. Thanks for the Wii for the weekend. The boys totally think it was worth the trade. I'm 59 in Wii years.)

So we're dog sitting for the weekend in the snow while ____ is off hiking around Zions getting a tan. I'd tell you her name but half of you know where she lives and I don't want to be responsible for the toilet paper you'd leave in her tree.

So we're dog sitting this dog that has anxiety and even though I'm not exactly Dog-Whisperer material, I've got to get the dog in the house for the night. And not that I don't like dogs, we're just not BFFs and I think they know this.

In my defense, I did try to use Fred's jacket (why would I want to use mine?) to throw over his head so I could calm him down and catch him like when they blindfold horses to get them to run through the fire to get out of the burning barn. You think it was a good idea, too, don't you?

I was too chicken to get it all the way over his head and this is what I ended up with.

The last time we had a dog bite, I had never had a dog bite before and freaked out and called Animal Control to ask about the whole rabies thing, and they ended up taking the neighbors dog in for observation. I still feel bad, Marnie. Many apologies. Please forgive me.

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I've been telling the boys that we'll get a dog as soon as we get a new house but I'm now rethinking that promise. What am I supposed to do with a dog? And I don't have to go in to the doctor until I start foaming at the mouth, right?

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All you dog fans out there... any advice for me? I've got to take the dog out for potty breaks for two more days.