It always makes me smile when I hear a comment along the lines of, "I love reading your blog. You're so funny." It also makes me want to post a disclaimer in the sidebar lest I lead anyone into false assumptions about my character. You see, I'm one of those people you met on the internet and liked so much that you decided to meet IRL for the first time in Vegas and get hitched, and then reality sets in and you realize what a goober that person really was and that they totally misrepresented themselves online and are soooo not as hot as the washboard stomach big breasted string bikini picture they posted on their myspace page.
Because I got rid of the string bikini years ago and only frequent the nude beaches at Utah Lake now.
I'm amused that you think I'm so amusing. I'm glad I'm good for something. But when I heard a friend tell me that her sister reads my blog and thinks I'm funny and wants to meet me, I had to draw the line. I don't want to lead you astray. Hence, the scoop.
IRL, I'm boring. I spend most of my day scrubbing baby barf out of my carpet.
IRL, I'm socially awkward. It takes me years of knowing someone to be able to comfortably hold a conversation without thinking that they think I'm a goober as soon as I walk away. And I'm still trying to figure out the whole conversation thing. I mean, what do you all talk about all the time? How is it that you can open your mouth and everyone stops to listen? How do you still have brain cells left after childbirth? I'm just not very eloquent in person.
IRL, I promise I'm not funny. Even the level of humor as found on this blog takes serious effort. Drafting, proofreading, editing, font-enlarging, rhyming. And the tree anecdote? If I had tried to spout that off at a party at, say, Wingers, you all would have talked right over me. Or stared in open mouthed awe at the looney girl at table three. (doesn't she know she's making a fool of herself? should we tell her to shut up or just let her dig her own hole?)
IRL, I have a secret wish to be a fly on the wall. All entertainment and no effort, my kinda socialization.
So there you have it, the scoop on the chicken-herder. I'm a dork with a little knack for creative writing. But even that goes bad sometimes, just be warned. I wouldn't want to misrepresent myself and give you grounds for the quickie divorce.
Oh, yeah, I totally wore black tights with my pink pastel skirt. And it gets worse.
8 comments:
I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from. In fact, I have a blog post scheduled for tomorrow that is a little bit along these lines. It's funny what people think of us who only see what we want them to see, isn't it?
Hey, just your every day blog stalker here. Just wanted to tell you that your blog really is rather hilarious, I got tired of checking it out via Marnie's blog and just added your your link to my own. Even your post about not being funny gave me more than one laugh. Keep on writing!
Kim Golding
Ditto for me.
Er - not that anyone regularly thinks I'm funny...
Wait....
Why do people visit my blogs?...
I was just thinking about what Erin said about people only see what we want them to see on our blogs. I always put up the good times we have--but as I am still trying to post about Christmas and the good parts of it I still am trying to decide whether I will write about how we were so close to actually cancelling Christmas and giving away all the kids' presents, because they were so onry and self-centered this year and only under actual threat of losing Christmas -when they realized that Mom was serious, did they change their attitudes. Nah, I'll proably keep to the happy family stuff.lol.
I do so enjoy reading your blog--it doesn't matter that you edit and plan and use enlarged fonts--in fact that's part of what makes it so great!
Well, I know you IRL, and I still think your are funny (and I LOVE the blog as well). I know exactly how you feel. I am really a shy person who always thinks everyone sees me as worse than a goober (probably because I always stick my foot in my mouth while trying the whole communication thing!) :)
... (breathe)...(laughing)... sheesh! You totally made me laugh! I am so glad that I provided opportunity for inspiration for a tidbit of your writing!
I agree, I think my whole extended family now reads your blog, I don't know how you do it but seriously, I check almost every day to see your new posts! Your writing kinda reminds me of my moms, she has a column in the uinta basin standard you should check it out, it is a humorous column. the website is www.ubstandard.com and the link is on the left under featured columns. You and her are so funny about everyday things. Its nice to laugh about the days we feel like screaming about!
(aka Shelly's sister!) You STILL make me laugh and that is meant as the highest compliment! And really... who isn't a goober - aren't we all -- just acting like we aren't!! :) Thanks.
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