I couldn't have said it better myself, I'm not usually that introspective, but Stephanie hit it on the head.
It's what I crave in a friend. Thanks, Shelly.
The Pop-In, by Stephanie at Happy and Free
I had a thought about a year ago that I want another (or two) pop-in friend. I have one, Sam. And she's a good one, though I don't see her much. And she never knocks. Just comes in. And she loves me even if my house is in a disastrous state.
I love all of that.
I want more of it.
I love what it means to me.
You love me no matter what, and I'm coming over when I want to.
I love you and wanted to see you, and if you're embarrassed about the state of your house then get over it.
Where's the rag so I can clean this spot off your cupboard?
But it's even more than that.
It implies I always feel welcome.
It implies You are always welcome.
It implies I trust you.
It implies I know you.
It implies I always love you.
It implies I never judge you.
And, beautifully, I know I am never judged by you.
There is something to Just Being Yourself.
Not only because as far as I'm concerned, Who the hell wants to pretend to be something they're not?
But that when you are yourself freely, not to impress or annoy anyone, just Being, then it's certainly a quicker way to form friendships, isn't it?
I mean, if you don't put yourself out there, then how can you be accepted for Who You Are?
Rejection comes sooner too, certainly, but isn't that a benefit, also? Better in the beginning than when you begin to trust someone.
Maybe it's just me.
Maybe others find greater satisfaction in steady, polite, acquaintanceships.
But not me.
I want it all.
I want The Real Thing.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The Pop-In
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4 comments:
Yeah, if I could just get over myself....sigh. It sounds so nice! When I was growing up my mom had a friend like this. Oddly enough, her name was Cookie (really!) and she has since died of cancer. She had two kids---just the same ages as my sister and I. I don't remember the details, of course. But I remember her house in great detail. We must have been there a lot.
I've told my mom that I never "hang out" because I always have lots to do (or think I do, anyway) and sometimes don't feel that I have an hour to sit and chat (I know this sounds horrible....letting you in on some deep dark secrets). She said, "Oh, Cookie and I understood that. When Cookie was over I'd still be folding laundry and cooking dinner and changing diapers and cleaning the toilet (or whatever)....and vice versa. That's why we were such good friends."
So, lets try it! If you and Shelley come crash "my party" sometime just remind me about Cookie and I'm sure I'll loosen up!
Me again. Do you know Stephanie? I used to be in a coop with her---lovely mama.
Is it okay if I leave a comment?
Let me say first of all that I am very complimented by your quoting me.
(and complimented that someone reads -or has read at least once, anyway- my blog! :) )
Secondly - Sarah (hi, Sarah) got it exactly right! That is exactly what I meant.
To me it's the stuff of dreams to have these individuals in our lives - I mean, we have our spouses, but even in intimate relationships (mothers and sisters) we can feel that we have to either supply entertainment, fine cooking, good hostessing, and/or stimulation (the children) for our guests. Or face recriminations from our Mama's for havin' a mess or two. >:0
I value greatly acceptance, and am certainly willing to offer no judgments to a Friend.
There is so much love and freedom in such a relationship!
Stephanie
We really do have the 'real thing'!! I love how relaxed we can be. I was thinking about that last night while we were running. We had moments of 'comfortable silence'. I can't think of anyone else that makes me comfortable enough to quit talking and be quiet. Thanks. You know that I love you and always will! I know we never say these words out loud with each other. It's because we don't need to.
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