Ebay, the Financial Death of Me

Or maybe it's bad karma for trying to sell my kids old toys instead of philanthropically donating them to the DI.



I listed a dozen hand puppets for sale last week. Was even creative with the listing in order to further entice strangers into paying for my leftovers. It worked well when I listed Fred's graduation robe. Made up some lame story to get people to buy my robe instead of yours (no hard feelings). Went something like this...

For sale: Black Herff-Jones Graduation Gown and matching cap.
Like-new, hardly used, only worn once for three hours. Sat in more than it was walked in, and definitely never eaten in. Maybe a few pictures taken in it. Zips up the front for easy disrobing after ceremony is over, or mid-ceremony if stadium gets too stuffy.
Hat is unblemished as no messages were ever taped to top to be seen from the audience, and was never thrown and therefore remains unbent. Nice little button on top to hold tassle of your choice (not included). Hat is labeled as "sure-fit" so is
guaranteed by manufacturer to fit any size noggin.
Optional University of Phoenix Neck-wrap thingie will be thrown in at no additional charge if you are interested. Purple-ish pink, very stylish and becoming with any eye color.
No returns, please, as we don't foresee financing another degree any time soon. Happy graduating, and our hearty congratulations to you for sticking to it!

I guess it worked. The robe sold. Thought I'd try my mad writing skills again with the puppets...

10 Plush Hand Puppets. Googly Eyed and Need New Home

Zoo-Keeper has outgrown his zoo and left his puppets to fend for themselves. They are now available for adoption to a good home with willing zoo-keeper.

Pink pig is flirtatious.
Cat is very friendly, does not have attitute like some uppity cats I know.
Cow is tame and will not kick over milk bucket or swat you with its tail.
Tiger has lost whiskers on right side of his face due to tussle with the duck.
Duck now prefers tiger meat to bread crumbs.
Alligator is chronically sleepy and will cause no problems.
Lion has had a few too many baths and sports an afro.
Puppy is very curious and has dipped his ear into the paint. From the looks of his
googly eyes, he has been sniffing it, too.
Monkey is docile and will not cause mischief.
Giraffe is very beautiful and won every All-Zoo pageant she entered.

Fit adult size hand comfortably. Amuse children at the bite of the belly.

You'd buy them, right? They sound like so much fun. And they did sell. My problem is that I didn't research how much it would actually cost me to ship them. Just pulled a number out of my head and called it enough. You'd think I would have learned when it cost me $4 more than I quoted to ship Fred's graduation robe last week, but aleast that selling price was high enough to make up for it and I came out of the deal with $4 left over.



Nope. Just made up a shipping cost again. Only this time my goods didn't get quite the high bid this time. Lousy $2.50. So. I just paid some lady in Texas four bucks to take my leftover toys. No, I'm not kidding.





Money earned when selling stupid old puppets on Ebay: 6.74

Money it cost me to ship stupid old puppets to texas: 10.62

Realization that I should have just left them on your doorstep and called it good:

Priceless, yet again.

(anyone want to bid on a barfing baby?)