Not to be confused with its more affectionate cousin, P.D.A., or its friendly cousin P.P.S., or even its smart cousin P.H.D. Nope, this one is more insidious, and I've got it.
Post Purchase Anxiety.
I warned you a purchase was in my future. I wasn't sure what I was going to buy, but I knew I was going to buy something. Turns out it was a flat-panel tv. We went grocery shopping at Wallies and came home with a tv from Sears. Go figure. It was on sale.
I'm now having second thoughts. It's too big. We hardly even watch tv. What if we need the money for something else. We should pay down the house instead. It doesn't fit in the (built-in) tv cabinet. We can't afford it. It's too shiny. And on. And on. And on and on in my simple little mind that can't take the stress I have created for myself by taking a simple thing like the purchase of a tv and complicated it ten-fold. I could deal with the second guessing and dismiss it as needless worry just fine if I didn't have to go and throw religion into the mix.
What does religion have to do with a television, you say? Let me fill you in on the fine art of living the neurotic life. You start with religion and the concept of personal revelation, the amazing gift we all have that allows us to receive personal revelation from our Father in Heaven. I appreciate this gift very much, and I try to make use of it so as not to seem ungrateful. But when you start to confuse promptings with irrational thoughts, things start to get ugly.
Through trial and error, I have become familiar with what a warning feels like. It feels like dread coursing through my body. When I feel it, I know to run. I've learned that. But what about those nagging thoughts? Is that a less-urgent form of the warning? Is it a subtle raising of the Heavenly Eyebrows at me? Or is it simply a symptom of an overactive and understimulated imagination running unfettered by the bounds of sane thinking?
Excuse me... waitress? Can I get some subtitles with that prompting please?
As I see it, I have two options. I can decide that nagging thoughts are a form of personal revelation and listen closer even if it means it results in irrational bahavior like returning a perfectly good tv and then spend the rest of my life at the mercy of stray thoughts, or I can take back my life and buy things when I want to (provided I have balanced the checkbook first) because I'm not sure I'll be able to buy another house after this one sells if I have to worry about stray thoughts.
Any advice for me, or are you all just going to hide behind your computer screens laughing at my poor neurotic life?
p.p.s. Fred, the tv is very pretty. It has very good picture. I like not having to mess with the converter box. Keep reminding me how at peace you are with our purchase and I will get over my neurosis as soon as I can. The tv will be here when you get home.
Friday, February 6, 2009
P.P.A.
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4 comments:
You just put into words one of my biggest faults: self-doubt. I know exactly what you mean. That's why I'm glad I'm married to Blake who helps me deal with my self-doubt. It sounds like Wade does the same for you. Enjoy your tv.
If it were me, I would return it. BUT that's the type of person I am. I hate debt and if I know I still have $__ to pay on my house/car/whatever, I'd rather get rid of the debt first. I also worry about the economy a lot. I don't know if we're going to wake up in the morning unemployed or having an unexpected bill to pay. I always like to have a little extra money in savings, just in case. That's the only advice your worrier little sis can give you.
Hah! We have spent the last week researching, learning, and more researching about lcd tvs and trying to decide if we wanted one or which one we wanted. We decided on one, but the store was out. We changed our minds, and Wally's wouldn't price match. We went to Costco again, and they didn't have the one we wanted. We finally decided not to buy one. But we bought lots of other semi-expensive items instead.
I feel your neuroses!
I think I return at least 75% of clothing I buy. Only from department stores though, I can easily spend LOADS of money at Goodwill. :)
Good luck deciding.
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